In just 28 short days, I will wake up as Aubren Martin for the last time. I’ll have my face done up, my hair blown out, and I’ll wear the most beautiful dress I own. I’ll walk down the stairs, through the venue, and across the lawn to meet the love of my life in front of the tree we’ll get married under. In just 28 short days, I will become Mrs. Aubren Emberton.
In celebration, some of my married blogger friends have written letters to me. First up are some words on forgiveness by my sweet friend Mariesha.
She lives in the Denver suburbs with her husband and their precious little girl. She has been a driven career woman and an adventurous world traveler, but now she’s a stay at home mom in a very different season of life. After dealing with deep postpartum depression and anxiety, she decided to reconnect with the things that have enriched her and brought her joy.
Her blog, Pursuing the Beautiful, was created because she loves the virtue of beauty. Mariesha believes that in a time when our culture is utilitarian, functional, and frenetic, beauty steps in and helps the weary soul to exhale. From the trivial to the significant, beauty can be found in all aspects of our lives…and if we connect to it, we will feel revived, refreshed and restored.
This is her letter:
To the Bride,
Your big day is almost here, and as the uniting of two souls always is, it will be glorious and sacred. But that is only the beginning, because there is still a lifetime of love to navigate. And if we were sitting on the couch together with some coffee, I might lean in and whisper my biggest marriage secret…the one thing that keeps your marriage moving forward on the journey.
Forgive. And then forgive again. Forgive for the small things and for the big things. Forgive for the hurt feelings, unmet expectations and sometimes heart betrayals.
When we were in our first year of marriage, we got premium tickets to see John Legend at Red Rocks in Colorado. It was going to be an amazing date night and I wanted to look fabulous. So I pulled out my sassy jeans to put on, only to realize that I had gained weight over the summer and couldn’t fit in them. I melted down. I felt disappointed because I didn’t know what to wear and I was feeling so tender about my weight gain. My husband, bless him, got home from work to a teary wife. Unfortunately, his response was not gracious and he said something about me needing to go to the gym. Oh, no, he didn’t!? Oh, yes, he did! And it took almost a week to repair all the hurt feelings and get through that martial fight. But I forgave, and we can laugh about it now.
And, oh, how many times has he forgiven me. I have not been easy to live with because of my history of deep depression and anxiety. He has had to walk on eggshells or wonder how our day was going to go. He has had to sacrifice time that was supposed to be fun and restful in exchange for navigating my anxiety attacks. Neither of us knew how difficult it would be, but he released his unmet expectations, and loved me through the hardest times.
I pray that these experiences are very few and far between for you. But some will filter through and the hurt will be real. But, by the grace of God, we chose to forgive. The marriage journey is hard, because there is nothing easy about two souls becoming one…but there is such beauty that emerges from the sacrifice that it takes to get there. And it is absolutely worth it.
So much love,
I could not be more thankful to my sweet friend for sharing her heart and raw stories with me. I know that in the days ahead, I will seek advice from her, and she will gladly share her wisdom. I pray that someday, I will be able to do the same for a new bride.